BREAKING NEWS out of New York (NY) today as Hillary Clinton announced that Presidential Candidate and Hillary Clinton employee would see the fruits of his labor in the form of a exceptionally large holiday bonus.
“We use holiday bonuses not only as incentives but also as a way to recognize employees of ours that have gone above and beyond this year,” said a spokesperson for Hillary Clinton.
Expectations upon initial hiring were moderate, said Clinton spokesperson,
“When we first hired Donald Trump to be an epic asshole and detonate the Republican Primary, we had certain job criteria that we expected him to fulfill: say something bombastic and probably racist, lead in the Iowa polls in August, and flame out in a blaze of glory, but what he’s done…well…”
Trump, however, couldn’t have proved himself more valuable to the Clinton team, says Hillary herself:
“Some people are clock-punchers. They punch in, punch out, just collecting their paycheck. But not Donald Trump. I mean, did you hear what he said about banning Muslim immigrants? That sh*t is f**king crazy? I’m totally going to win.”
Trump’s bonus is expected to far exceed what Herman Cain received when he was working for the Obama campaign in 2012.