Dumb News Alert: Hillary Clinton Suspiciously Silent on Issue of Klingon Invasion

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At a recent fundraiser in New Hampshire, Hillary Clinton opted not to state her position on the possibility of an invasion by the Klingons, an imaginary race from the popular TV show Star Trek.

While she was not directly asked about the issue, it was clear from her answers that she was trying to steer the crowd away from any discussion of a space battle with a fictional foe that doesn’t exist. This is the third public event where she has noticeably avoided anything related to Klingons in general, and people are starting to question her motivations.

It has become common for politicians to withhold their positions on certain issues until they are able to figure out which side garners the most votes; however, her silence on this issue left more than a couple pundits shaking their heads.

As a presidential candidate, she cannot afford to be this reticent. The American People have a right to know her position on EVERYTHING. If you ask me, this is  Benghazi 2.0.

-Bill O’Reilly

Mrs. Clinton, if you’re watching this, the game is up. I know you’d love to wait and see how the polls turn out, but that’s not how this works. That’s not how our highest office works. TAKE. A. STAND.

-Sean Hannity

As seen in the case of Mitt Romney’s 2012 Presidential campaign, “flip-flopping” can have a significantly detrimental effect on popularity. Hillary supporters have claimed that this issue is relatively unimportant, since Klingon’s do not technically exist, although recreational physicist and incarcerated ornithologist Kelly Owen begs to differ.

Any event that doesn’t have a zero probability is technically possible, no matter how small or outlandish.

-Kelly Owen

Mrs. Clinton can hardly afford to remain silent much longer, especially with the recent “refusing to give all her private emails to the public” scandal.

As the outrage swells around the country, Dumbuzzfeed took a look at other issues that the former Secretary of State has refused to take a stand on:

  • The De-legalization of Heterosexual Marriage
  • Any type of Play-doh related disaster
  • Voting Rights for humans trapped in cats bodies
  • Some kind of “one ring to rule them all” situation
  • Can pregnant women use the carpool lane?
  • Program to feed Hungry Hungry Hippos
  • Tax on People who listen to Chris Daughtry
  • Tax on Handjobs
  • Maximum Wage
  • Move U.S. Capital to the sky
  • A Bridge to Terabithia

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