59 Thoughts we had while reading Buzzfeed’s article “137 Thoughts We Had Rewatching the “Pretty Little Liars” Pilot”

Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 12.32.17 PM

  1. Things have really gone downhill for me
  2. I should have put myself out there more
  3. I feel so alone
  4. I wish I had gotten some bread
  5. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone
  6. This is only thing I’ve done all day and it’s still not the highlight
  7. What is this show about?
  8. Rich white girls?
  9. I shouldn’t have masturbated so early
  10. I was saving that for 3PM so I have something to look forward to
  11. I guess I could masturbate after this too
  12. Maybe I’ll masturbate in the living room this time
  13. My parents are probably so disappointed in me
  14. Do they make prisoners in Guantanamo watch this?
  15. I wish I got more emails
  16. I got these Mentos but I just keep getting yellow ones
  17. Where are all the blue ones?
  18. Those are like the rye chips
  19. Was someone collecting a salary while writing this?
  20. Is this article part of the U.S. economy?
  21. I do understand the crippling desire to know that other people have mediocre uninteresting thoughts just like me though
  22. I woke up today and thought I had a facebook notification
  23. But it was just telling me that it was Ryan Tomlinson’s Birthday
  24. Fuck Ryan Tomlinson
  25. Wasn’t it Ryan Tomlinson’s birthday last month
  26. Does Ryan Tomlinson change his birthday every month?
  27. How the fuck do I know Ryan Tomlinson?
  28. He stabbed me in the palm with a mechanical pencil in Spanish class in 3rd Grade
  29. Fuck Ryan Tomlinson
  30. Fuck kids with mechanical pencils
  31. I’m so alone
  32. Buzzfeed Thoughts #48-49: Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 12.00.40 PM
  33. This made me sad, not emotionally, but cosmically
  34. Like watching a bird get tangled in the plastic that keeps a six pack of soda together
  35. They’re just called six pack rings, fyi.
  36. I was hoping they would have a cooler name so I could impress someone later
  37. Was the person writing this was being self-deprecating?
  38. I can hear the tone with which she’s saying “I kind of love it.”
  39. Nevermind I won’t masturbate later
  40. This kind of took it out of me
  41. Maybe I’ll just sleep for a couple of days
  42. Or I’ll make that Trader Joes Pizza
  43. That’ll make me constipated
  44. My girlfriend’s out of town though so maybe it’s good timing
  45. I hope no one shares this on facebook
  46. Maybe clipping my nails will take my mind off of it
  47. My pointer finger always gives me the most trouble
  48. I can never get it clean
  49. I always get most of it but then this little bit…
  50. Fuck
  51. Yeah there it goes, it just flies off and now it’s in the couch
  52. Screen Shot 2015-03-30 at 12.17.44 PM
  53. Earlier the spell-check was telling me to capitalize facebook and I decided not to as a sign of protest
  54. I imagine walking into a new friend’s house and seeing that they have Pretty Little Liars Box Set on DVD and feeling really scared.
  55. I imagine walking into a new friend’s house
  56. I guess we’re calling someone’s train of thought an article
  57. What the crap is “Literally LOLed”?
  58. Fuck Ryan Tomlinson
  59. Does anyone want to text with me?

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