Dumb News Alert: Indiana Governor signs Anti-LGBT Bill in Hopes of Getting People to Remember Indiana Exists

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence’s signed into law today a measure that would allow businesses to turn away gay and lesbian customers in the name of “religious freedom”. Gov. Pence, in a statement this afternoon, called the law “an important step in reminding the people of the United States that Indiana exists”.

“Now when people hear the word Indiana, they’ll think of homophobia and bigotry, instead of thinking “Did I just make up a state in my head?””.

A spokesman for his office said that the Governor’s prime concern during his time in office was improving Indiana’s “rememorability”. She said Gov. Pence hopes that this law will garner national attention and finally get people to pay attention to a state most commonly known for being the fictional home to the NBC show “Parks and Recreation”.

This also comes on the heel of a Dumbuzzfeed study which found that Indiana is the second most common state that 5th graders can’t find on the U.S. map (Number 1. being New Hampshire). The study found that Indiana is usually identified as either “Illinois”, “Illinois Pt. 2”, or is “Turtle’s Penis”.

Protests have already sprung up across the state and many businesses, like Salesforce, are boycotting the state entirely, leaving many to question the wisdom of such a law, which will essentially legalize discrimination under the guise of “religious liberty”.

The news conference after the signing became quite heated, leading Gov. Pence to give the following response:

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to not be respected? To not be considered equal? When I go to the U.S. Governors meetings, many of them won’t even talk to me or recognize me and one time they wouldn’t even serve me! You couldn’t possibly understand the pain and hurt I feel every day knowing that not only me, but Indianans everywhere aren’t being treated equally.”

A collection of 34 North Carolina Senators sent a letter to Gov. Pence this afternoon calling him a “copycat” and accusing him of “stealing North Carolina’s strategy” of being remembered as the “biggest dickheads around”.


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