The definitive guide to pretending to be gluten intolerant

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  1. Mention it before and after meal
  2. Stay away from people with Celiacs. They actually have the disease that you’re pretending to just kind of have.
  3. Instagram minimum of 2 photos of homemade gluten free pastries a week
  4. Make Pinterest account
  5. Google Celiacs just in case someone asks. But make sure to say words like “kind of” and “sometimes” when questioned.
  6. If you take a nasty poop at your partner’s house, make sure to blame it on there being gluten in your lunch. Poop excuses (#poop-scuses) are the whole reason you’re pretending in the first place!

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